What am I doing here?

I don't really know why I'm here...but I have no where else to go. I have tried talking to people ad finding people online who understand me, but no one seems to give the effort back to me. I feel like no one knows me anymore. Life is a lonely place to be when no one understands you...when you don't even understand yourself.

I have an eating disorder but i appear to be a healthy girl. Healthy = FAT COW obviously.
I'm EDNOS but am more ana..i use to self-harm, but have luckily gotten over THAT and i hope none of you do it (talk to me if you need to)
i doubt that anyone will look at my blog just like i have not look at every ones either!

sometimes i just need to clear my head and i think that is why i created this blog. the screams of my heart race through my fingers as i type. i hope someone tries to talk to me =[ i have no where else to reach out to.

ABOUT ME:
my name is not important but you can call me Lia. I am 18 soon to be 19. i got an eating disorder when i was 14. i use to love food, but now i can't eat without feeling bad. i can't look in mirrors without wishing i was dead. i cant help but to examine a pretty girl. i have terrible self-confidence with my looks. i feel like no one looks at me because i am just another average face. i want to be that gorgeous girl every girl wants to be and every guy wants to have.
one thing: i will NEVER lose my personality. it is the one thing that i have been granted with.
please if you read this: contact me. i need someone.