New Years Eve

And I am going to get drunk!

But I'm sure my friend will get more drunk than me because she is tiny, and she never drinks!

Last time we drank together,

she threw up pepperoni in my brother's sink!

It was....disgusting.

And I had to clean it up.

That's what I get though!

Tacos for dinner tonight, and my stomach already hurts! Damn doctor..I have to wait a week before I find out if I have an ulcer..or cancer :o

Well. Here is some fun thinspo!

Before and After

I actually had people comment on some posts! thanks Amanda and Missing_Angel. It is good to know that someone, besides myself, actually looks at my blog.

Feeling good today. Have had coffee and some flavored water.

Mom keeps asking what I want for dinner, but she already knows I won't eat it.

I mean she doesnt know exactly, but I have tummy troubles and I didn't eat last night because of it.

even though it was lasagna and garlic bread!!!

hmm i love that stuff.

you know you do too!

but be strong, because:

a moment on the lips; forever on the hips!

Eve of Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone.

I dont even know

I'm so lost in my own mind right now, i don't even know what's going on.

Random post (:

Saw this just now on the website.

She is perfect.

Stay strong, and results will show. <3

Shadow in my Life

I feel like I am invisible.

Even though I know I am not.

I'm just another person on this planet living a life.

Yet, I am always so hard on myself.

It kills me to know that I am hurting myself.

It hurts most to know that I can't love myself.

I look in the mirror and see a pig.

I touch my stomach and I want to hurl.

I wear a mask everyday, and now it is stuck on me.

I am a happy person. I really am.

But this shadow lingers like a nasty cold.

and I'm stuck.

Finals Week

Stress. Stress. And more...STRESS!
my face broke out and I have lost maybe about 8 pounds.
I haven't been eating much at all.
under 500 calories all week
yet I still look huge.
I know I can't lose everything in a night, but I think my metabolism has slowed a bit...

):
sad day!

Well. that's all

This Fucking Sucks

It's weird to look in on your life as if you are a stranger.

See yourself

in a mirror,

cry some tears out because your mom says,

"Ohh let it out, it'll make you feel better."

Stuff yourself with food because you have been telling yourself, all day,

"No no no stopit stopit stopit you can't/shouldn't eat that shit. You are a fat, ugly cow."

You have no one to talk to because you wouldn't know where to even begin, even if you did, by chance, decide to open up.

Close yourself off from your emotions, and they eat your brain.

Tell yourself you aren't pretty while others disagree.

Feel like a bitch because you break promises.

Keep eating because you know you can't change.

Keep eating because you suck.

you suckkkkk.

Shit.

burnt my damn tongue on mac n cheese.

WARNING: FOOD ATTEMPTS TO KILL YOU.

So school is a great place to become a whore. I am a booty call, and I am not too sure how good that makes me feel. I'm back to 136 ]: probably closer to 138 now since I ate everything in my room. i'm going to attempt at a 120 hour fast. hell..i just want to at least make it to the weekend without eating :D doubtful..but a girl can dream [:

He loves me, he loves me not

It hurts not fitting into a shell people set for you.

It hurts to feel like no one hears you.

It hurts when you love someone.

Life hurts.

I cause my own hurt in my own mind.

I wish I could stop time and rewind.

I wish I could go back home without trouble.

I wish I had my man in my arms.

I wish I had my mom to hold when I need to cry.

I wish being an adult was easy.

I wish emotions were easy to read.

I wish I never knew what "love" is.

I wish all people were real.

I wish sleep came easy.

I wish I could have my wishes.

I hope things get better.

I hope I lose weight.

I hope I bleed where people can see.

I hope everything gets better.



Black and White

I went to the gym this morning mainly to weigh myself and I was 133.8 :)

Black and white thinspo..easy to find, easy to post, easy to waste time.