New Year, New You!

Happy New Year!!!

My night was pretty good until I wanted to go to bed, and my friend stole it! I had her on the floor, but she puked ahah..and then stole my bed! I have to laugh about that because...well she is my best friend and she never drinks!






I am going to make this year the best year yet! That's what I plan anyways.

I ate cheetos last night in my room after everyone went to bed, and I'm 98% sure that I also ate a sausage.

-__- and I was doing so good, BUT I will NOT beat myself up over some chips and some meat.

I will be a little nicer to myself because afterall, this is MY life and I create my OWN happiness.

I will get skinny; even if it kills me.





















FIND ME ON XANGA http://misspigg3rs.xanga.com/

Before and After

I actually had people comment on some posts! thanks Amanda and Missing_Angel. It is good to know that someone, besides myself, actually looks at my blog.

Feeling good today. Have had coffee and some flavored water.

Mom keeps asking what I want for dinner, but she already knows I won't eat it.

I mean she doesnt know exactly, but I have tummy troubles and I didn't eat last night because of it.

even though it was lasagna and garlic bread!!!

hmm i love that stuff.

you know you do too!

but be strong, because:

a moment on the lips; forever on the hips!

strange sex

can't sleep.
imagine that!
so I just remembered watching a show called Strange Sex, and there were enormous girls on there who thought they were awesomly beautiful. Okay, correct me if i'm in the wrong here, but if you happen to be immoble, aren't you a waste of space?
like, what kind of life would you have if you only stare at the ceiling all day and all night? that is not a life, not even a tiny bit.
its not even so much you wouldn't be beautiful, it's more like being dead without actually dying..

i hope i can always move and not have food control me in that way.

UPDATE

Okay so i can tell by my comments and messages that Blogger did not miss me. I am currently on Day 2 of the ABC and

i am pretty hungry strong. if the entire ABC is like this, i do not see a chance of failing!

ahah

false hope & wishful thinking are what i do best!

okay so Harry Potter 6 Part 1 comes out tomorrow and I am buying it right after school =] Harry Potter is one of those movies i will never get tired of. i love how they pass the time so fast for me.

OH i also like to play the sims when i am hungry or bored or BOTH! :3

it REALLY passes the time.

tomorrow i get to have 300 calories :) yay! i feel strong today, but i wonder if it will change when i am around my boyfriend and no longer just sitting at home in my room...by myself!!

hah i like it this way though...most of the time.

i like writing to Blogger. i feel like it's a place no one really goes and i am free to say whatever i feel. :D

HELP!

Okay! soo i cannot get a picture to be centered across the top of my blog! i have no clue what im doing wrong, but i am being half-retarded today :P

HELPPPPP i think im missing something ahah...

hopefully someone will help? =D

so i have no school today and no one is home =\ im not sure how i really feel about it.

eating is easiest when alone, but i want some company!!

i have to go to the library because i have a really overdue book =P

dad keeps nagging me <.<

i had breakfast :

• yogurt - 100
• 2 crackers - 30
• half a grapefruit - 40?

which makes that 170! i think.

that brings on another question: how the hell are you suppose to eat a grapefruit? if you eat it like an orange, its too weird. if you eat it with a spoon, all you get is juice! im so confused and frustrated haha.

ill probably post again  later today...just goes to show i have no life! baha. im sorry i was in a bad mood on my earlier posts :P

i bet i have to eat dinner with the fam.

whats your favorite ways to pretend to eat?

:D TALK TO MEEEEE babycakes.

NOW FOR YOUR FAVORITE! [done myyy way!]

Later that day...

WOOHOO! I am on a HIGH today =]
i was really upset today because...well...i fucking HATE my school.
i am all alone the whole day because i still feel like the new girl.
this is my second entry for the day because i feel better!

i vow to use my blog as a safe haven for me to express my thought, feeling, and/or ideas!
today when i got home from school i danced and ran around my house for an hour and then i ran for uhh idk like 10 minutes hah. i use to run alot and its really cold outside since its winter so its hard to have the motivation =]
i took a bath and relaxed for once. i cannot recall the last time i took a bath.
but then i took a shower so i could actually feel clean so now i feel fresh and happy!
i think i need to see a doctor and get my head on straight.
=\ but that will never happen! (:


hmm what else??
OH! when i was making tea i realized what i have eaten so far for the day

Breakfast: yogurt- 100 cals!

Lunch: rice cake- 35!
Salad- 20!
and a dash of hot sauce- 0!

snack: half a banana- 55

someone please do the math! thats 210!
like i said; i am on a high here (:

talk to me hunnies!

What am I doing here?

I don't really know why I'm here...but I have no where else to go. I have tried talking to people ad finding people online who understand me, but no one seems to give the effort back to me. I feel like no one knows me anymore. Life is a lonely place to be when no one understands you...when you don't even understand yourself.

I have an eating disorder but i appear to be a healthy girl. Healthy = FAT COW obviously.
I'm EDNOS but am more ana..i use to self-harm, but have luckily gotten over THAT and i hope none of you do it (talk to me if you need to)
i doubt that anyone will look at my blog just like i have not look at every ones either!

sometimes i just need to clear my head and i think that is why i created this blog. the screams of my heart race through my fingers as i type. i hope someone tries to talk to me =[ i have no where else to reach out to.

ABOUT ME:
my name is not important but you can call me Lia. I am 18 soon to be 19. i got an eating disorder when i was 14. i use to love food, but now i can't eat without feeling bad. i can't look in mirrors without wishing i was dead. i cant help but to examine a pretty girl. i have terrible self-confidence with my looks. i feel like no one looks at me because i am just another average face. i want to be that gorgeous girl every girl wants to be and every guy wants to have.
one thing: i will NEVER lose my personality. it is the one thing that i have been granted with.
please if you read this: contact me. i need someone.